To paraphrase Jen Sincero, "It may seem like a mountain now, but in the future, you'll back and it'll be a pipsqueak by then."
One of my favorite Mulan quotes is "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." The Emperor of China says it in all of his infinite wisdom, and I believe it becomes even more impactful because of that.
But let's face it, none of us ever want to be faced with adversity. When the roads cross and you have the option for an easy path or a hard one, I think we can all safely say that we would pick the easy way every time. It's in our nature to sit back and not struggle too much.
The problem with that mentality is that we sit in ease until adversity does come into us, hitting us like a freaking piano from the sky, and we never saw it coming.
Adversity totally sucks.
There is good news in this, though. My current path to excellence has been riddled with strife and trouble and lawd knows what other convoluted things have been thrown at me over the last three years.
Three years? What do you mean "three years"? How are you even alive right now?!
That's right, three years.
In March of 2016, I was promoted into a position I technically was immensely unqualified for so the company could save money. The pay raise was the reason I took it in the first place on the strict stipulation that I ask for help when needed, but really suffered the whole way through.
I probably came home stress-crying everyday those first couple months.
I did what I could and complained the whole while, threatening to my friends and family that I was going to quit and never actually doing it.
The thing about all of my griping (which I should have solved long before it ever was), is that something incredible was out there working things for me. Whether or not you believe in higher powers, coincidences, what have you, the Universe was out there listening and adding things onto my plate to try and get me to quit.
Clearly, I'm tenacious and stubborn because I wasn't taking the hint.
Finally, after a year and a half of that, the Universe had had enough of me and it got me fired.
I know what you're thinking, "This isn't a happy story. Why are you sharing this with us?" There are two reasons for this tale: One, it was adversity and I was getting rashes because of it; Two, the experience taught me quite a few things moving forward.
First, I was ignoring myself and my health for this job that wasn't going to take me anywhere I wanted to go in the long run. It was dead-end and I was living in a world with rose-colored glasses on. Life does some funny stuff to you when you forsake yourself.
When I'd finally gotten out, I decided that enough was enough and I would not be doing anything that wasn't moving me towards my dreams ever again. This decision in my life was crucial because it meant that I had to take a risk and do it all alone.
I decided in that moment that I was going to go out and write a book.
Honestly, I think we know the rest of my three year story. And it was a struggle. Even to this very day, I am in the thick of a new coaching business and client projects and getting my own manuscript ready for publication.
You know what they don't tell you when you're still young and living at your parents'? Life is freaking hard. Adulthood is hard. It takes commitment.
And I think that's the most important distinction. Life takes commitment. Through adversity, we are required to move into new places and spaces, both internally and externally, and know how to do it all before we get there. But it's all a learning experience, and we must be gentle with ourselves as we work our way through the poo-filled barrel before we find the gold at the bottom.
Life takes commitment.
When faced with adversity, here are some tips I have to make it through:
-Set aside the money and schedule time for a massage when it's finally over
-Do all of the self care practices you can think of because you totally need and deserve them
-Work smarter, not harder (It may be loaded at times, but there's definitely some truth to it)
-Find other that have made it through and listen to them for validation
-Reevaluate your goal, step back, see where you can be flexible and negotiate them
-Hold strong to the things you're working towards that are totally non-negotiable
-Write everything down, all feeling, thoughts, and actions
-Surround yourself with supportive people to help hold you up when you're feeling down
-Start delegating tasks if you're feeling overwhelmed or don't want to do certain things
-Breathe in, breathe out. You got this!
Lexi Mohney is a self published author and a book coach living in Ann Arbor, MI. Throughout her writing and coaching career, she's lived by the motto of courage and worked with her own coaches, groups, and support system to see her Big Audacious Dreams come true so she can help others achieve success, too. She's currently got a novel up for an award that will be determined in June, and is in the process of querying agents for her latest novel, Soulkind, which is the first in the Soul Hunter Series. For any and all questions pertaining to her work, contact her through her website or find her on social media.