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What Does It Mean To Fail?

Taking an up-close and personal look at the Biggest, Hairiest and Scariest emotion/concept of all.


You remember that time on LIVE TELEVISION? Yeah.

Nobody wants to fail. No one likes to look at failure. Who, in their right mind, likes to watch themselves trip and fall on their faces in a crowd of people and then have to face them again?


No one.


And that is the best/worst thing about it. While none of us like to face our own failures, we certainly like to look at other people's.


It's actually kind of funny. A good friend of mine, that I've known for ages, is probably one of the best and bravest people I know. She's great at taking her setbacks in stride, and knows when to laugh at herself without being self-defeating.


She had a failure so bad that it made it into a Book of Fails that was then published for the world to see.

This! This beautiful, horrible mess is hers. And now, she's internet famous. Go figure!

And the crazy thing is, she submitted that failure herself!


There's a lesson in that, though. We all have this vision in our heads of this amazing thing, but throughout the process of creating or building it, we fall short.


And it's not our fault.


Here's what happens: Throughout life, our whole existence basically, we're taught to be self-sufficient. It works out for us in many different ways, whether in school, work, childrearing, aging, dancing, observing, discovering, traveling, etc. The list goes on. But not a single person can walk up and say that they are absolutely 100% excellent at everything.


Not one person can say this.


You remember that saying, right? Jack of all trades, Master of none. There's a reason "Jack" hasn't mastered anything. "Jack" doesn't want to push himself and look foolish or ask a more knowledgeable person for help so he can learn things the right way.




Where does it put you when you don't push yourself and run the risk of failing, though? Are you really safe? Have you solved the problem and become impervious to looking silly in front of your peers?


I don't believe we've solved anything with our preconceived notion of safety. Here's why: When we don't act on our visions of life and the future, we spend our time in mediocrity.

When we don't act on our visions of life and the future, we spend our time in mediocrity.

It's as simple as that.


Mediocrity isn't safe. It's a place of fear. It's where you aren't living your biggest and best life. You probably barely spend any time with your Highest Self, if that. And worst of all is that it's sucking the life right out of you.


When you live on the low end, low is what you experience. High in frequency, high on life. Make sense?


This is where I should insert a MAJOR side note about this concept of blocking out failure by living in mediocrity: Some of us are not blessed by massive ideas from our minds/The Universe/God/Wherever You Believe, though. Some of us walk right into everything we've ever desired with a house in the suburbs and a dog and two kids and a loving spouse and a good, stable job, and that is ALL they've envisioned for themselves and their lives.


If that stuff is your dream and you're living it as a decent human being and totally content, HAPPY even, then stay in that space. Only if you are in a space like that and feel lost, empty, useless, scared, mediocre, unfulfilled, anxious, lame, lifeless, bored, lacking, etc, should you change.


So, if you are in that space where you need MORE, you may be asking "what's next?" First, let's face the music, and by that, I mean, let's prepare ourselves for failure.


"What? Right out the gate? I don't think so!"


Well, hear me out. When you step outside of the mediocre bubble, you're stepping outside of the "Normal People Space". You are taking a chance at being an Extraordinary Person, and have, therefore, failed at being an ordinary person.


One failure down! How great is that?


The energy of your failure is going to show itself in many ways. Worry and doubt from your loved ones is one of the biggest. And that will only get louder the more you continue to fail at being an ordinary person.

I think this is a fitting quote for this post. I only wish I knew who said it so I could give them credit!

The problem with all the clapback around your lack of ordinary brings us right back around to the concept of "Jack" and our lives of self-sufficiency. The more we lack support moving forward, the more we attempt to push ourselves into things without asking for help. It's mostly because we're afraid of asking the right people for help, so we suffer with talking to the wrong people that give us bad advice or tell us we're stupid for trying because we "can't already do it ourselves".


Seriously? Did you say that to infant-me when I was learning how to walk?


This idea that we must be perfect at the thing before attempting it is nuts! Olympians definitely did not walk onto the field one day and just get a medal. They worked their butts off for it and had TONS of help along the way.


But it was the right kind of help and support, and therein lies the difference. Guidance from people who have already been in your shoes and lived through it is going to be WAY more valuable than advice from the people that are standing inside of the mediocre bubble, still too afraid of failure to even dip their big toe in.


"Jack" could probably master something if he wasn't so busy trying to learn everything on his own. It may not be easy to hear, but if your Extraordinary Life means anything to you, you're going to have to keep failing at being ordinary AND getting good guidance along the way.


That isn't to say that the ordinary don't still have great ideas, though. People are excellent at being themselves and individuals usually have vast and varying skills that you're gonna need on your journey to Extraordinary. Build yourself a team, and see how much further they'll take you than if you're trying to do everything on your own.


You might be surprised.

 

Lexi Mohney is a self published author and a book coach living in Ann Arbor, MI. Throughout her writing and coaching career, she's lived by the motto of courage and worked with her own coaches, groups, and support system to see her Big Audacious Dreams come true so she can help others achieve success, too. She's currently got a novel up for an award that will be determined in June, and is in the process of querying agents for her latest novel, Soulkind, which is the first in the Soul Hunter Series. For any and all questions pertaining to her work, contact her through her website or find her on social media.


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