Updated: Apr 13, 2020
How to Gracefully Step Over the Threshold and into Your New Life
Honestly, there are a million things I could say to this subject, especially since I recently saw one of Lisa Nichols' talks. It resonated so much that I find myself even tripping over my processing because the same issues she had to overcome are currently overcoming me.
Building a business isn't easy. I think any entrepreneur can tell you that. What they can't tell you, or even come close to quantifying, is all that much change in order to allow you growth. There are too many sacrifices to note.
One of the largest obstacles I've come to in my journey of business building is knowing that there are things (people) I must leave at my doorway of possibility because they're too afraid to walk through it with me, and I cannot become who I need to be if I stay on the side of familiarity and comfort.
And maybe some of you have faced this when going for goals and dreams, too. Did you release the hands and walk through the door, or did you stay behind and hope by some miracle that you'd make it after you halted your growth?
And when you did this, how did it pan out? Did you become who you wanted to be from your zone of familiarity?
If I had to guess, I kind of doubt it, but all the same I acknowledge the struggle.
The people on the side of the doorway you're trying to leave behind are usually the most well-meaning people in the world. They are often loved ones, friends and family, people you care about and want the best for, and who want "the best" for you in return. Unfortunately, their best for you isn't always on par with your best for you. In fact, it's almost always in the zone of comfort and familiarity, and because of that, it usually falls way short of your goals and dreams.
It's not that they don't want you to be happy, but their own fear of failure has taught them that taking risks can lead to consequences, monetary loss, or exposure to ridicule and judgement from others. Exposing yourself to the growth on the other side of the door means that you have possibility for all things to go wrong. And the people stuck in that stagnant space are solely focused on that and their fear of it.
But that's not the only thing on the side of possibility is it? No. In fact, right along with all the possible wrong are all the potential good and right things, too. And your desire to walk into that outweighs your fear of the bad. And your loved ones can't see beyond their own safety and likely don't understand your views at all.
So, what do we do about the disconnect? We cannot possibly forsake our family and friends for our dreams, can we?
Well, that brings me back to the talk I heard Lisa Nichols give. Her journey was not an easy one. In order to get where she was going, she had to walk through the doorway and leave a lot of her loved ones alone for a long time. Ten years, in fact. They scorned her for choosing the path she'd chosen, told her that she'd forsaken her family and her culture. Not only that, but that she'd abandoned her community for her dreams.
She, of course, had done none of that from her own mind. She still loved them, still wanted the best for them, still cherished them and their existence in her life, but she knew that she wouldn't be supported as she gained her success. She knew sharing in her journey, struggles and successes would be ridiculed by the people she loved because they were afraid of it and couldn't understand it.
Needless to say, now that she's wildly successful and living an amazing life, her family are back with her once more. They don't quite understand it, but they appreciate the vacations.
Even though it's difficult stepping into change, sometimes the only right move to get you where you need to go is to step through the doorway into possibility. My own fear, as I teeter at the threshold, is that I know my relationships with my loved ones are going to change. Likely even for the better. But I'm borrowing fear from them, as well.
I cannot let that negative possibility outweigh the positive potential, though. And neither should you. So, it's time to step into the unknown. Support your dreams, love yourself enough to make things happen, and know that all of this is on them to walk through the door themselves.
And hey, if they can't do it right now, that doesn't mean they won't be able to do it in the future. Maybe they just need to see you do it successfully first to know it's safe and possible.
You never know until you try.
For information about the Lisa Nichols talk I'm referring to, here is a link to the video where you can watch and be inspired just as I've been: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSxhIp4l1DY
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Lexi Mohney is an award-winning, self published author and a book coach living in Ann Arbor, MI. Throughout her writing and coaching career, she's lived by the motto of courage, and worked with her own coaches, groups, and support system to see her Big Audacious Dreams come true so that she can help others achieve success, too. Her first published piece, Carnal Knowledge, won an award at the 7th Annual Bisexual Book Awards in NYC on June 1, 2019. She is in the process of querying agents for her latest novel, Soulkind, which is the first in the Soul Hunter Series. Contact her through her website or find her on social media with any questions.